Get all 63 Bill Baird releases available on Bandcamp and save 90%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Soundtrack, Astral Suitcase, "Mumble Mouth" / "She's About a Mover", Atonal Choir File, The Children -- 1968 -1971 -- From the Very Start (bootleg), Great News, Eternal Space Bar, ∞ Infinite Eye ∞, and 55 more.
Excludes subscriber-only releases.
1. |
Captain Brain
04:59
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chrome dome styling foam
shiny mental sphere
briney water floating home
pulsing face of fear
oh, captain brain!
mental janitor
can you sweep away my past?
i acted like a moron
i acted like an ass
oh, captain brain!
bleach blonde scrub head
make me look nice when i'm dead
or scrub away my face instead
spinal cord to tie a thread
oh, captain brain!
fair trade ferrari
organic corvette
bill gates wears a sari
the solar-powered jetset
oh, cap and trade!
oh, cap and trade!
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2. |
I Burnt All My Black
02:32
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stare up above and the sky stares back
I know what I see is only what I lack
but I've burned all my black
Woman she calls
she beckons me
I can't lift my eyes
I cannot see
I've burned all my black
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3. |
Soggy Soul
03:09
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stare out blank and I wonder why
but my mind just can't replace
what shrunken brown clump of dirt now stands there?
it's my face
i want to live beyond myself but i fall farther in the hole
gotta stick my heart in a microwave and drain this soggy soul
soggy soul
so i drive my car around all day listening to book on tape
"beowulf" by seamus heaney
my mind starts to escape
but in the end i come to myself and i drive into a toll
gotta ditch this car and ditch this dark and thaw my frozen soul
bundled tight and feeling fright
not ready nor steady to go
gotta keep my head in a better place
gotta steady up nice and slow
i know that things could be much better
and i really do want to change
gotta stick my head in a microwave
and thaw away the drain on my soggy soul
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4. |
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5. |
Stingk
06:12
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tantric tights
glassy eyes
jazzy grin
reclining lion in his den
butter smooth skin
clutching the mane
flowing precious blonde locks
fretless bass
ebony and ivory
it sustains for days
bibb lettuce on my chiseled chin
should i grow a moustache?
no.
got to stop by randall's and get some eggs
my name is stingk
keeping it real, it's in my contract
i'm contractually obligated
talk to stan, he's my lawyer
look at that leg
shake that leg stan
preening paws
lick my chops
my wife keeps calling me to pick her up from soccer
me and elvis costello
we got us a new career
singing bing crosby, summer in the dumpster
my name is is stingk
i'm no hero
look at my skin tone
it's called pantone
60 bucks
my therapist says i'm doing better
i've learned how to snowboard and i'm cooking more
i started on the treadmill, now check this out
intramural volleyball at aussie's and pints and plates at Zax
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6. |
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7. |
You're Fat
00:51
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wax jack hands
chewin up land
filling up bellies with freeze dried ham
a rip down snort of the gluttonous sort
you juggle your gut
your chins contort
you're fat
spammed out daze
flash a purple-pink haze
on the jiggly wiggly flesh slapping down your legs
i lost your face in the apple pie
the oversized socks running up your thigh
you're fat
you're fat
your hammy fists grip each drop and drip of the pickle juice slop slurping down your lip
you're fat
you're fat
you're fat
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8. |
Cosmic Hum
01:04
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10. |
Mister Treadmill
02:18
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bottled water, t.v. dinner
walking nowhere makes him thinner
mister treadmill.
he dreads standing still
spinning circles like a rocket top
he doesn't think, he doesn't stop
he's dangling bills on a fishing line
helps him to run, keeps him in line
mister treadmill.
he dreads standing still
has a drink from the kitchen sink
and he walks the dog on his treadmill
what a treadmill!
with ten speeds!
and a mountain range setting!
oh mrs. treadmill!
spice things up...
your husband never will
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11. |
In The Future
05:00
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In the future, it will be found that any benevolent impulse not acted upon will clog the arteries and cause cardiac arrest. All those with the right idea but too weak-willed to act upon it will be clutching their chests in agony by their mid-50's, while all the greedy assholes who never had a feeling of empathy to begin with will be laughing over their piles of money into their 80s, 90s, and beyond.
In the future, it will also be found that money is the great lubricant, if you will, in more ways than one. Rich folks will have perfected a method of crushing hundred dollar bills into a creamy paste, which they will rub all over their bodies, in an effort to stave off wrinkles, sags, and other signs of age. Poor folks will have tried a similar technique by collecting all the world's discarded pennies, but the paste subsequently attained only deepened their wrinkles and gave off a smell that the rich would do their best to avoid.
In the future, it will be found that each human hair is tiny antenna to a giant cosmic being named Hair God, who is a primordial being obsessed with follicles and who possessed the body and mind of Vidal Sassoon at various points in his life.
Of course, if the human hairs have been permed or teased, their antenna powers will be blunted severely, if not entirely eliminated.
In the future, every time somebody notices or mentions you on CyberCosmos (the great integrated social networking platform that has virtual representations of everything: every human, every emotion, every blade of grass and speck of dirt, and has even managed to incorporate unified field theory), a red pellet is automatically dispensed from a hole in the ceiling shaped like a cloud eerily reminiscent of Charleton Heston playing Moses in “The Ten Commandments.” The pellet is sweet and sugary and mildly sedates you for a few minutes. Some people do not eat these pellets, instead collecting them and trading them like the beads and furs of yesteryear.
In fact, the red pellet black market has been doing a brisk business of late, with one confirmed exchange of 10,000 pellet for a 1997 Geo Metro.
Which brings up the following: in the future, it will be generally agreed upon that the 1997 Geo Metro was the best car ever made.
Moving on.
In the future, the walls of our dwellings will be edible. At the end of the hallway of most apartment buildings will be a bakery that manufactures edible bricks to fill the holes in the walls. In the great “Angry Stomachs” protest of 2040, a group of 400,000 angry Union members gathered and ate through the West Wing of the White House.
They were eventually pushed back as the military began shooting mortar rounds of Dexatrim, the famed diet pill of the late 1980s. Since Dexatrim was in fact just a speed pill, similar in nature to cocaine, these 400,000 angry, stuffed Union members all turned to one another and began blabbing non-stop about how excited they were about “all this cool shit coming up.” Since everyone was talking all at once, nobody could hear each other, and the resultant din sounded 400,000 screaming hyenas.
The right-wing media subsequently spun the episode to demonstrate Union members as “gluttonous speed-freaks anxiously discussing things that will never happen.”
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12. |
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Bill Baird Baird, Texas
"In the sphere of psychedelic music, Bill Baird is without a doubt one of the top 2 or 3 songwriters in the world" - le
Village Pop
"Psych-pop master craftsman" -- Spin Magazine
"A testament to the failure of the American educational system" - Roscoe Mitchell
"...modern psychedelia at its finest" - Exclaim
"One of the last of the living rock n roll geniuses" - Tiny Mix Tapes
... more
Bill Baird recommends:
Perfect blend of diy aesthetic, new age calm, and the emotional openness of a Daniel Johnston our Arthur russell.
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